Let’s get right into this. Yes, this conversation can be challenging, but make no mistake, it is extremely important. If you’re anxious about having the “Do you want kids?” talk with your partner, follow these pointers.
Have the Conversation
We’ll be honest: It could easily be a deal breaker if one person wants kiddos and the other doesn’t. As uncomfortable as it may be, bring up the issue. We aren’t saying this should be discussed on the first date, but it should be brought up when you start getting serious with a person.
Dance Around the Topic
You can gently bring up having children by discussing your partner’s thoughts about friends or family members who already have kids. Sometimes this conversation can tell you everything you need to know without directly asking. Plus, it’s a great opportunity to bond.
Know No Expectations
Discuss your partner’s thoughts on the subject and why they have them – and be prepared and willing to hear the opposite of what you want. Instead of having an overblown reaction, remember that people can change their minds as they mature and have life experiences. This is why it’s vital you remain calm and explore the topic together.
Be Simple, Direct, and Prepared
Think about your response in several scenarios. You can even write down your thoughts and feelings regarding them. This way, you’ll know how to respond no matter what they say.
Keep It Private
Have this talk in a private place. It’s a personal subject, and the answers can be emotional. This isn’t the conversation to have at a bar, coffee shop, or museum.
Don’t Take It Too Seriously
There’s nothing that says this topic can’t be discussed just as easily as career goals, fitness, etc. In fact, bringing up the issue nonchalantly sets the tone for a relaxed, non-judgmental conversation.
Don’t Take It Personally
Whatever their answer is, it doesn’t reflect on you or your relationship. If your partner seems to be struggling with the topic, this is an opportunity to discuss those feelings. And if you’re both on the same page, it’s an opportunity to move forward together.