For many single gals, finding a relationship is a big goal. But have you stopped to consider whether you’re actually ready for a relationship? This isn’t a negative commentary on you, but rather an opportunity for you to focus on yourself before focusing on a relationship, and increasing any future relationship’s chance of success. If you’re teetering between ready or not, here are some helpful signs that indicate you should stay single a while longer.
You’re Not Looking for Anything Long-Term
While “long-term” means different things to different people, the idea here is that if you’re not looking for something serious, whatever that may mean for you, you’re likely not actually interested in a relationship. That being said, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should stay single. Casually dating is fine, and it’s important to communicate that with your partner. Failure to disclose the fact that you’re not looking for something serious can result in hurt feelings that, frankly, aren’t fair to your significant other.
You Lose Interest Quickly
One of the telltale signs that you’re not actually interested in a relationship is if you tend to lose interest in a new significant other rather quickly. While there are obviously complicating factors here, such as simply not being interested in the person, rather than relationships in general, if you see a pattern emerge, there’s a bigger issue at play.
If you ever feel wishy-washy about relationships in general, or find that one day you’re interested and the next you’re not, it may make sense to spend some time on your own and get to the bottom of what you actually want.
You Feel Overwhelmed
If your personal life is all-consuming, or perhaps your professional life is seeping into your personal time, leaving you burnt-out, then you may need to take some time to decompress before jumping into a relationship.
If you’re already dating, your partner is there to help you work through tough times. However, if you’re at the beginning of a relationship (or are still actively looking for the right relationship), you could be putting undue pressure on potential partners as a result of your feeling overwhelmed.
There is nothing wrong with a little self-care before putting yourself back out there, so take a breath when you need it; the dating world will still be there when you’re ready to start again.
You’re Still Thinking of the Past
Last, but most importantly, if you are hung up on an ex, you will be hard-pressed to find a successful relationship. Mourning past relationships is a normal process that unfortunately doesn’t have a time limit. If you’re “not over” your ex, then take the time you need to get over them, however long that may be.
There’s a big difference between normal, residual feelings that result from a lengthy relationship (feelings that may never go away, but become less prominent with time) and harboring intense feelings, one way or another, about your ex while actively dating. The bottom line, and a general rule of thumb: if you spend most of your free time thinking about your past relationship, you should probably hold off on any near-future serious relationships.
Again, being advised to stay single isn’t meant as a slight, but rather an opportunity to spend some time with yourself and get to know what you want. It’s not only going to help you weed out the wrong relationships, but it’s also going to strengthen your knowledge of yourself, which is never a bad thing! So, if you’re not ready now, there’s no rush! Enjoy your own company—your future relationships will be all the better for it.