There’s no book of relationship rules that dictates how your partner is supposed to behave in the course of your romance. You undoubtedly have expectations, but you should recognize that they have expectations, too. If they don’t match up, you’ll find that being open and reaching for compromise will make you happier than insisting it’s your way or the highway. Unspoken and unrealistic expectations can get in the way of solid relationships. These are some of the most common roadblocks.
Your partner will fill every need in your life all the time.
Some couples enjoy a symbiotic, joined-at-the-hip relationship. Other couples don’t want to share every feeling, thought and emotion they have with each other. Matching expectations will help you compromise and give you the relationship that works best when you both feel the most secure, loved, and appreciated.
All free time will be spent with you.
A certain amount of independence for each of you breeds a desire for closeness. You both need your own friends and your own life for a healthy relationship.
Your unspoken thoughts are always known to your partner.
You can’t expect anyone to read your mind and know what you want unless you tell them. You set the stage for unnecessary drama when you assume your partner deliberately ignores your feelings if they do something that bothers you.
Your partner will always agree with you.
Expecting your partner to have your back and give you support is totally fair. Expecting them to always agree with you and take your side is not. Partners are entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, and sometimes they just don’t agree with yours.
You get to determine how much sex you have.
Sex can be a sensitive topic, since refusal can make the rejected partner feel undesirable and that can cause hurt feelings and problems in the relationship. Have a frank and loving talk about both your expectations for the bedroom, and then reach an agreement that makes you both happy.
Your partner will pay for every date.
If you think that a man is supposed to pay for every date, you may be counting on an outdated tradition. Expecting them to foot the bill for every vacation, meal and movie may make them feel taken for granted.
Your partner will be the first to apologize.
Sometimes one partner falls into a habit of taking the first step to get things back on track when there’s an argument. Once the pattern is established, the other partner gets sulky when their SO doesn’t make the first move.
Friends of the opposite sex are not allowed.
Telling your man or woman they can’t have friends of the opposite sex isn’t fair, especially if they’ve proven there’s no reason for jealousy. Work on those insecurities.
Your partner will take care of household chores.
The woman will take care of domestic jobs. The guy will be the handyman who takes charge of all the fixer-upper work. Really? Research shows relationships and marriages run more smoothly when household chores are divided more evenly.
Your partner will stay gorgeous forever.
If you picked your partner for appearance alone, you’re in for some real disappointment. Expecting your partner to take care of their health is fair. Anticipating they will never age, gain weight or develop wrinkles is unrealistic.