How to Communicate With a He-Who-Won’t-Talk

Most experts agree that communication is the key to a good relationship. So you ask the right questions. You show that you’re interested in their thoughts. You remain open and ready to respond. And then your partner doesn’t want to communicate with you. So how are you supposed to communicate with a he-who-won’t-talk?

Men and Talking

Listen to three comedy specials starring three different men, and at some point, at least one of them is going to do some jokes about talking to a wife, a girlfriend or any woman at all. And while they’re able to talk on stage for an hour, they’re going to make everyone laugh about how they just don’t want to talk to the woman in their life.

Lots of men aren’t great communicators. They give monosyllabic responses to what you have to say, noncommittal answers to all your questions and they offer nothing to keep the conversation going as they continue to stare at their phones, their tablets, their TV screens — or whatever. It can be extremely frustrating, but in many cases, it’s also a solvable problem.

Communication Tips

Try some simple talking tips to get him to participate in conversations, rather than just waiting for them to end.

  • Get to the point. Lots of men tend to zone out after less than a minute of sustained talking. If you’ve got something to say, get right to the point. Say exactly what you mean and what you want to say. The explanations, questions and answers can all follow.
  • Talk in person. Lots of men don’t like to communicate…and they like it even less when it’s in writing. If you have a big issue or topic you need to discuss, don’t do it over text or in an email. Talk to them face-to-face, and it usually helps to start with a compliment or asking them about their day.
  • Get him to stop. Often, a guy will simply tune you out while he’s watching TV, playing a game or working on his hobby. If you really want to talk, ask him to stop doing whatever he’s doing. Turn off the electronics, tell him to put down the tools and make eye contact so you can communicate.

A Stronger Relationship

If the two of you work on better communication together, you can get there. If not, a relationship counselor or therapist can teach you both techniques that you can use to be more open and communicative with each other, which is truly the key to working through many problems. Find a way to get to this level, and get to a new level of intimacy with your guy.

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