Help! My Significant Other Is a Major Flirt!

Let’s say you meet a guy or girl and immediately fall for them. Now things are getting serious, and you’re starting to see that the same charm you fell for isn’t reserved just for you and you alone. Let’s talk about coping with a flirtatious significant other.

Dive a Little Deeper

First things first: Identify why your significant other is so flirtatious and why it bothers you so much. Often the reasons are deeper than you think. Next, ask yourself who they are flirting with: Is it everyone or one particular person? If it’s everyone, there’s a good chance they don’t even notice they’re doing it. If it’s one person in particular, it could be a red flag. Maybe they mean no harm – or perhaps it’s time to walk away. Either way, it’s worth discussing.

Go Easy On ’Em

You’re probably experiencing a lot of feelings right now – all of which are valid. But when it comes to talking about things like your significant other being a flirt, it’s best to have a relaxed, non-accusatory conversation. Think about how you would want your partner to approach you about an issue. Make sure you’ve chosen the right time and place, and use your best judgment.

Vulnerability Can Go a Long Way With Your Partner

This isn’t the time to nag your partner about their flirtatious tendencies, but it is a great time to be vulnerable and honest. Let your significant other know how it makes you feel when you see them flirting with other people. Ask them questions and try to come up with a solution together.

Vulnerability Can Go a Long Way With Yourself

You’re not totally off the hook here. Think about how you feel when you see your spouse flirting and why you feel that way. Does the constant flirting make you feel self-conscious? What do you need from all of this? Do you need some time to work through insecurities? Or do you just need some reassurance? Having this conversation with yourself before you have a conversation with your SO will make that conversation much more fulfilling.

Remember: “I,” Not “You”

Load the conversation with “I” statements. “You” statements can feel accusatory, and when the other person feels attacked, the conversation likely will not go as smoothly.

Designate a Magic Word

If your partner is inadvertently flirty, consider coming up with a trigger word that you can say to them to make them realize what’s happening. From here, your partner can redirect or adjust their actions.

Set Boundaries Together

Once you’ve reached the root of the issue, set some boundaries together. Discuss when it’s okay, when it crosses a line, etc.

Remember Your Rights

You have every right to speak to your partner about something bothering you. We all face issues in our relationships, and the only way to move past them is to talk about them and reach solutions together.

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