First Date Intimacy: Yes, No, Maybe So?

The age-old question: should you be intimate on the first date? If you do, you’re often branded as “easy” or “slutty.” If you don’t, you’re a “prude” or “misleading.” But here’s the spoiler: any man that thinks of you that way is a man that you don’t want a relationship with anyway. Regardless, sex is something you should think about before meeting in person so you’ll be mentally prepared to handle any sexual chemistry you may have with your date. Here are some thoughts to consider.

How do you feel about sex?

Religious beliefs aside, sex means different things to different people. To some women, sex is a special, emotional, and physical joining of two bodies in love, before or after marriage. To others, sex is less paramount, and more freely done.

Your personal thoughts and feelings towards sex will differ from everyone else’s, and that’s completely normal! Who better to decide your own rules for sex than you?

How Well Do You Know the Date?

Regardless of your feelings about sex in general, the way you feel about your date should be a consideration as well. Just because you are open to sex on the first date doesn’t mean the guy you’re currently out with has an automatic “in.”

Your thoughts and feelings about your date can, and should, impact your decision to have sex on the first date. If you’re hitting it off and feel comfortable, there’s nothing wrong with seeing where that chemistry leads. If you thought there would be more chemistry than there is, don’t feel bad saying no.

**Either way, don’t let your date’s expectations make you feel guilty about your decision.

Is there consent?

You are not the only individual on the date, and therefore not the only individual who can decide whether to take things further. No means no, for both sides. Every time. No matter what. Always.

Remember: There is No Right or Wrong Answer

Most importantly, throw out any blogs, advice, movies, or other pieces of media that indicate there is a right or wrong answer to this—because there isn’t.

Only you can draw the conclusion of whether it’s right or wrong for you. Whatever choice you make, make sure it’s the right one for you.

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