Dating is already difficult. When you add single parenthood to the equation, things can be even more complicated. Your main focus is, of course, your children. But does that mean that every date you go on should be all about your children? When should you talk about your children when you’re on a date?
The First Meeting and First Date
Should you make the point known that you have offspring while you’re on the first date? There is no “right” answer when it comes to talking about your kids with a new romantic interest. You have to do what feels right for you and for your child or children, because of course you’re a package deal. That being said, you’re under no obligation to force the subject into conversation every time you meet a potential new partner.
There’s no need to make it a point to mention your child or children if the topic doesn’t come up on its own when you first meet someone, or your first date with them. Everything up to and through the end of the first date is really an audition anyway, right? You’re still interviewing this person to see if they’re worth spending time with. After the first date, you should have an idea of whether or not you ever want to see this person again. If the answer is yes, you need to start getting serious about having the conversation about kids.
The Big Conversation
Once you’ve decided that the person in question may be worth pursuing and you both seem to want a second date, you’re going to have to break the ice. Keep it light and casual by asking the other person if they have children if you don’t know the answer. This will give you a natural way to bring up your own.
You definitely don’t want to wait beyond date two to share this info. The more time you spend together and the more you begin to like each other, the more it’s going to feel like a secret if you don’t show your cards. Your romantic interest may feel like you held back the info for too long and resent that fact, and that could spell doom for your budding relationship.
Before things go beyond the auditioning phase and well before any intimacy happens, bring up your kids. If your date has a problem with it, the relationship is likely never going to go anywhere anyway. Somewhere out there is a person who will love you and your kids. It may take a while to find them, but at least you can figure out who isn’t that person by having this conversation before you get in too deep.