Can You Really Just Keep It Casual in Your Romances?

There are many reasons why you or your love interest may not be ready to dive into a serious relationship. But are you really capable of keeping things casual…and how long can you pull it off?

Emotionally Unavailable

Are you in a strictly casual relationship with someone? It’s fine to check your emotions and guard your heart while sharing your physical body — up to a point, and within certain boundaries. No matter how hard you may attempt to separate your emotions from your physical body, you can’t. You are made up of many parts, including your mind, your body and your heart. What happens to your physical body has an effect on your emotions and your mind, and that’s just biology.

However, there are times when a casual fling is just what you need. Your psyche may be far too damaged to jump into a serious, loving relationship with someone — but your body still has desires. If you can find a willing partner who is also emotionally unavailable and unattached, why not?

Why Not?

There are a few reasons why not when it comes to keeping things casual. Many people in a physical relationship begin to feel emotions with each and every physical encounter. When these feelings are one-sided, things can get pretty painful. Over time, you may begin to feel like you are not being appreciated for who you are — because that’s likely how you’re being treated. This can be damaging to your self-esteem, and hurt you in the future when you are ready for that special relationship. 

You may also grow used to the person and feel comfortable — only to have the rug pulled out from under you when your casual partner finds a new partner. It’s always jarring when someone ends a relationship unexpectedly, no matter what type of relationship that may be. 

When It Works

If you are emotionally detached and simply scratching an itch, keeping things casual may not be the worst of ideas. If you enjoy a casual relationship very briefly, it can actually help you work through some of your emotional troubles, rather than causing more.

In other words, it’s fine for some people to have a casual relationship for a little while. It can actually help you feel more attractive and boost your self-confidence in the short term. It can help you get past a breakup. But keep these kinds of relationships short-term. Otherwise, they can do long-term damage to you emotionally that can hurt you in your future relationships.

It’s a basic tenet of romantic comedies and a fact that’s true to life that eventually, a strictly physical relationship becomes unsatisfying because of the lack of an emotional connection. Most people ultimately want to forge a deeper, more intimate connection with someone on an emotional level, so listen to your heart and always check in with what you are feeling and what you need. 

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