Do you remember being jealous of a friend when you were young? Maybe they always had the newest toys or clothes? And once you got home, did you feel sad about your own life? Many of us have been there – and that feeling hasn’t exactly dissipated now that we’re older, especially with the prominence of social media. And while some jealousy is only natural, a lot of us are all too familiar with how quickly this can spiral into what’s known as comparison anxiety. Let’s discuss.
What Is Comparison Anxiety?
In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger proposed social comparison theory, which states that people tend to evaluate their abilities and attitudes in relation to others, which plays a significant role in self-image and subjective well-being. According to this theory, there are three types of comparison: upward social comparison, where we compare ourselves with people we deem “better” than us; downward social comparison, where we compare ourselves with someone we deem “less than” us; and lateral social comparison, where we compare ourselves with someone we think is equal to us.
Now, keep in mind that not all comparisons are bad. Sometimes, comparing ourselves to others inspires us to work harder to achieve certain goals. However, when comparing ourselves to others turns into comparison anxiety, it’s taken a negative turn.
Managing Comparison Anxiety
It’s important to carefully manage social comparison because it can affect mental health, productivity, and cognitive performance. If you feel like you suffer from comparison anxiety, here are a few strategies you can try.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Yes, social media can be an incredible way to keep in touch with friends and family scattered across the globe, but it can be easy to feel crummy about where you are when some people always seem to be sitting on a beach somewhere. If certain platforms make you feel anxious or bad about yourself, don’t spend time on them. And always remember that on social media, you are only getting a perfectly edited highlight reel of someone’s life. For example, the person on the beach might have only been there for the weekend, but is posting about it all month.
Create a Win Journal
When we start to fall down the rabbit hole of comparing ourselves to others, it can become difficult, if not impossible, to remember all of the progress we’ve made over the years. That’s where a win journal comes in handy. Keep a notebook or list of everything you’ve done that has made you proud, and refer back to it as often as you need to.
Their Outsides vs. Your Insides
You never know what is happening behind the scenes in someone’s life. Many people are struggling, but you would never know by looking at their lives from the outside, because people don’t normally post about the bad.
Be Aware of Your Triggers
While social media can trigger comparison anxiety, there are other people and circumstances to watch out for. Avoid things that evoke negative thoughts about yourself.
Celebrate the People Around You
You should be your number one fan, but that doesn’t mean you can’t cheer on others. Cultivate kindness and support by showing up for the ones you love. Remember, if it’s important to them, it should be important to you. We bet they will do the same when you need it.