No matter how you slice it, coping with a breakup is hard. You might feel like your self-esteem has hit an all-time low, like your world has been turned upside down, or like you’ve hit rock bottom. Unfortunately, there is no foolproof step-by-step guide for dealing with a breakup, but we have some tips that may help you cope.
Think of Your Breakup as a Physical Injury
If you’ve ever been physically injured, you know there can be good and bad days during your recovery. Well, experts say a breakup should be treated the same way. Be kind and gentle with yourself on the days you aren’t feeling great while reminding yourself that there is always tomorrow.
While it’s impossible to go full Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and have someone completely erased from your brain, you can eliminate triggers that remind you of your ex. This may mean tossing photos, notes, gifts, or other trinkets that make you think about your relationship. You may want to block them on social media, too. Nothing good ever came from stalking an ex’s Stories.
A rebound relationship can make you feel good – but only temporarily. And the problem with temporarily numbing your feelings is that they’ll come back just as strong once you finally allow yourself to feel them.
Reconnect With Things and People That Make You Happy
When you are in a serious relationship, it’s natural to stray from some of the things and people that once made you happy. Reconnecting with both can boost your happiness, give you some distractions, and perhaps even make you feel empowered. So get back to your TBR pile, start cooking again, and FaceTime with people that make you laugh. We bet you’ll be glad you did.
Walk Down Memory Lane, But Make It Realistic
After a breakup, you naturally start taking a nostalgic trip down memory lane. But while you remember the good times, don’t let that rid your mind of the reasons you broke up in the first place. You can think about the night that dinner started with flowers and ended with a kiss that rom-coms only wish for, but don’t forget about the arguments at dinner or the silent car ride. Remembering the good and the bad will help you put things into perspective.
A breakup can take an enormous mental toll on you, and it’s a lot to work through on your own. Having an unbiased perspective can help you learn and grow from your experience and give you more confidence going into your next relationship.
Journal About How Okay You’re Going To Be
Seriously, we mean it. Treat yourself to a new notebook, maybe some new pens, and just write about what you’re feeling: the red flags, why it would have never worked out, goals you have, all the things you now have time for, what you’re looking for in your next relationship, and so on.
Eventually, you have to stop wondering “why” and just let go. We know this is easier said than done, but ultimately, you need to accept that you were simply just not right for one another. Remind yourself that you are enough and deserve someone who will go the distance for you just as you would for them.