Relationship struggle is a problem that’s all too common. It’s ingrained in us that you fight for a relationship, sticking it out through the good and the bad. At what point does the bad outweigh the good? If the struggle is real, and the good times are very few and far between, these key signs might help determine whether it’s time to cut your losses or keep on keeping on.
You’re in a Holding Pattern
This isn’t to say that your relationship has hit a dry spell, or that you’ve simply plateaued as you determine your next steps, but rather that your relationship isn’t progressing at all, and there’s no end to this lack of progress in sight.
Most often, this holding pattern can be attributed to a difference in your visions of the future. For instance, if one of you is looking to take the next step (making it official, marriage, children) and the other isn’t on the same page, there’s a difference in vision that’s challenging to get over.
Whether or not the obstacle can be overcome is specific to your unique relationship. Is there a compromise? Is it just a timing issue? What does your future as a couple look like, and is it a future you want to be a part of?
Getting stuck in a rut is only a problem if there’s no plan to pull your relationship out. If your attempts to move forward don’t work, it’s time to evaluate whether or not the relationship is worthwhile.
There’s Been Infidelity
For many people, cheating is a deal breaker. That being said, some individuals choose to see it as a mistake and move on, working on the relationship as a team.
Moving past infidelity is only possible if (1) both individuals are open about their feelings and agree it was a mistake, and (2) the past actually stays in the past.
Often a scorned partner might believe they can move past a situation, but they find forgiveness difficult or impossible. This unfolds in arguments that circle back to the incident. The equilibrium of the relationship is disrupted; the individual that cheated works to right the wrong, but can never make it up to their partner.
If there’s been infidelity, an honest conversation needs to be had in which you truthfully determine whether or not the relationship can survive the issue, and then you need to put words into action.
There’s a Lack of Emotional Connection
Let’s call a spade a spade: feelings can change. Falling in love with someone doesn’t always mean it’s for life. Truth be told, there is nothing wrong with accepting the fact that your feelings have changed – but make sure that you if you walk away, you are walking away because you do not love your significant other, and not because you just don’t have those exciting first love jitters anymore.
Ultimately, an unhappy relationship is detrimental to all parties involved, so being honest with your feelings, though it may hurt at the time, might be the better alternative in the long run.
Fights Have Overwhelmed Your Relationship
Yes, you’re going to experience fights in your relationship. That being said, it’s not healthy for fights to overwhelm your relationship. If you find yourself in a relationship in which you and your partner are constantly fighting, whether the fights are big or small, you should sit down and communicate about it, or get some outside help.
If There’s an Element of Abuse
Last, but certainly not least, if there is any element of abuse in your relationship, run far, far away.
While many individuals’ minds jump to physical abuse here, psychological and/or financial abuse often fly under the radar, undetected, until the issue is pointed out by an outside party. Gas lighting, using the threat of argument to prevent you from doing something, and isolating you from your family and friends are all telltale signs of an abusive relationship, whether or not there is physical violence.
Abuse in any form is never okay in a relationship.
It’s never easy to determine whether or not it’s time to call a relationship quits, but the one thing that’s always true is that walking away isn’t necessarily a failure. Sometimes, it’s the only option left, and that’s okay! Determine what’s best for you and your happiness.