Life after infidelity is nothing short of an emotional roller coaster, and learning to trust again is a slow and challenging process. But the good news is that two people who understand and accept that they have a lot of work to do can reestablish trust in the relationship. Let’s look at how a couple on the mend can tackle rebuilding trust together.
Feel Your Feelings
Bottling up your emotions does not mean you’re taking the high road. Your partner needs to know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to cry, be sad, be mad, or be whatever you need before you talk through it with your partner. This can be especially beneficial for couples with difficulty communicating.
Self-Care Queen
If your partner cheated, and you’ve both agreed to work to rebuild what you’ve lost, keep your mental and emotional health at the top of your priority list. Engage in your favorite activities and avoid anything reminding you what happened. You need time to heal!
No Use Pretending
Infidelity can be the elephant in the room. Recognizing the situation allows you and your partner to address any obvious or underlying issues. Talking through these things can make your relationship stronger as you rebuild.
Resist the Urge to Helicopter
When your partner has cheated, your trust is at an all-time low, but as you work through the rebuilding process, it’s important not to helicopter. This means not reading their texts or emails or checking their location. If you feel the need to do this and it’s taking away from your mental health, be sure you make more time to talk to a professional about your feelings and how to work through them.
Hold Tight to Your Support System
Throughout this process, you’ll have good and bad days. You’ll want to be around people who remind you how much they love you. These people can listen to the good, the bad, and the ugly and never make you feel judged.
Nobody Likes a Dweller
You don’t want to ignore what happened completely, but constantly reliving the incident down the road is no way to move past it. Instead of focusing on what happened, focus on what you both can do to salvage the relationship. As time passes, remind yourself that dwelling on the past is not the answer.
No Revenge Seeking
There’s a good chance you feel wildly betrayed, but if you really want things to work out, retaliation is not the answer. Seeking revenge doesn’t heal the hurt caused by your partner – and has the high likelihood of creating a bigger snowball event.