Someone has to be the first to say it. The magical words “I love you” hang in the air between two people who are in love. When tenderness persists past the point of sexual attraction or attachment, you know you really care. Your romance has moved from the first flush of infatuation into a genuine partnership, and the time is right to put feelings into words. But there can be awkwardness and hesitation about the first declaration. Maybe your partner has been hesitant to say those three little words.
Maybe he’s waiting to know if you feel the same. If the signs are strong that the feeling is mutual, don’t be intimidated. Imagine what hearing these words might mean to your true love. But keep in mind that while declaring your love is not a bid for a lifetime commitment, it’s still pretty serious stuff. There are some situations when you should hold off. These are the moments when you should never, ever, say “I love you.”
You’re saying it before the feeling is mutual.
Do you know the difference between lust and love? Your passion has been ignited by a physical attraction. You are mad about the guy and he has the serious hots for you. Save the first declaration of love for the time when you know each other well and both agree your relationship is headed for the long haul. When you are confident that you and your partner are falling in love with each other, putting “I love you” out there won’t prompt either of you to run for the exit.
You’re blurting it out during sex.
Sex is passionate. Sex is intimate. The throes of sex almost certainly guarantee nobody is clear-headed. Sure, it’s perfectly normal to want your partner to know you feel close during sex but hold off saying “I love you” for another time. That way there’s no doubt that you weren’t just carried away by the heat of the moment.
You’re making it a drunken declaration.
Anything you say when you’re drunk and impaired can be seriously questioned. How many times have you disregarded someone’s ramblings after a night of bar hopping because they were under the influence? People say stupid stuff when they’re drunk. Don’t leave your first declaration of love open to dismissal because your partner can’t take you seriously.
You’re fearing to say it face to face.
Maybe you both are open to sharing sentiments over text messages, but your partner has never said, “I love you” out loud and in person. Does that bother you? Texting can’t replace the thrill of actually hearing someone tell you how special you are. Talk to him with about it without making the conversation an accusation. He may have grown up in a household where those words were never spoken even though the family was surrounded with love. Verbalizing feelings may make him uncomfortable. He may not know that you need to hear the actual words from him.