Is There a Benefit To Taking Separate Vacations?

Your spouse should be your best friend, and one of the people whose company you enjoy the most. Even the most loved-up couples, however, can want some time away from each other to relax and recharge. Taking a separate vacation is perfectly healthy and can even strengthen your bond.

Each person in a relationship has individual needs. Your partner didn’t promise to like the things you love and dislike the things you hate when you took those marriage vows. You don’t always have to convince your boyfriend to do what you enjoy. Different people find pleasure in different sorts of things.

If you each give your partner the freedom and a chance to explore those individual interests that might irritate the other, you’ll both be happy.

Relationship counselors says it’s fine for you to focus your vacation time on whatever calls you. One week apart once a year won’t sabotage your relationship. A separate vacation will give you time to do exactly what you want without the usual give-and-take compromise of marriage. Your children will see first-hand that independence can be part of a romantic relationship.

Separate vacations can strengthen the family. When you need a break while he is grappling with the busiest time of the year at work and can’t get away, finding adult time to yourself can be difficult. Scheduling childcare for long periods can be hard to find and expensive. Why not each take turns for a few days to go away on your own while the other stays home with the children?

If he wants to spend hours wading in a trout stream and you find nature a screaming bore, suggest he take along a fishing buddy for the weekend. Then you can gather up a girlfriend and hit the yard sales.

When spending time apart supports your partner, you’ll both feel a greater appreciation for each other. One of the foundations of a loving relationship is finding joy in seeing your partner happy. Taking pleasure in his solo fishing trip can be a building block in a stronger partnership.

Planning a separate vacation can point to a bigger underlying problem if the desire grows out of wanting to escape from your partner. That’s the time to take a look at your relationship and ask yourself why you want to go your separate way. A separate vacation in a healthy relationship is not the same as taking a break in a relationship that’s in trouble.

Going it alone may do more harm than good if your partner is feeling neglected or left out or jealous. Consider the stability of your relationship and your true motivation for the vacation. Does the health of your finances support separate vacations? Can you arrange childcare? You won’t be putting your relationship at risk if both you and your spouse agree separate vacations are a good idea.

Relationship experts recommend couples plan one vacation a year together as a romantic getaway to stay connected and focus on their dreams and goals together. A happy marriage is all about the balance between your vacation, his vacation, family vacation with the kids and your romantic vacation.

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