How to Practice Emotionally Safe Intimacy

You have all the information and you know what to do in order to practice safe sex. You use protection, you ask the right questions, you’re responsible. But do you take any precautions when it comes to protecting your heart? There’s more to sex than avoiding physical complications. You also need to know how to practice emotionally safe sex.

Why You’re Having Sex

Before you get physical with someone, ask yourself why you want to have sex with them. Are you acting on pure physical attraction alone? Are you hoping to achieve a deeper level of intimacy? Do you want to take your relationship to the next level of commitment? The first rule of protecting yourself emotionally is finding out where you’re at emotionally. Know yourself and your feelings, because how else can you protect your heart if you’re not even listening to it?

Why They’re Having Sex

It’s not just about what you feel. It’s a good idea to ask the other person what they’re feeling, too. If you feel like you’re falling madly in love and you expect that sex will be a romantic encounter that turns into deep commitment and intimacy on both sides, it might be helpful to know before you have sex if the other person feels the same way. Don’t assume they mirror your feelings. Ask them, openly and honestly, what they feel for you. Don’t be afraid of looking clingy, tell them that you’re only asking to protect your own heart. Of course, you may not always get an honest answer. But simply by asking the question, you’ll get some idea of where their heart is and how you fit into it.

Respect Your Own Boundaries

It can be very exciting and fulfilling to have a sexual partner who encourages you to test your own boundaries, to experiment and explore. However, you should never feel pressured to do something that you don’t want to do. If you find yourself with a person who makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, stop all activity and start communicating instead.

At all times, you should feel good about what’s happening and you should feel safe. If at any point you don’t have one or both these things, stop. Talk to your partner. Most of the time, the two of you can work things out verbally so that you can both enjoy a good experience. But if you can’t, then you’ll know not to continue being physical with this person.

Who Are They?

How much do you know about the person you want to be physical with? If you engage in sex too quickly with someone, you may later regret your decision. Practice emotionally safe sex by asking your would-be sexual partners if they are in any other relationships, along with any other information that might be relevant or important for you.

Put Sex into Perspective

Sex can be a beautiful way to connect with another person physically and share something deeply personal with them. But remember that it’s not the end-all and be-all of relationships. A real relationship is about much more than sex, so don’t put too much into this one act. Keep it in perspective. Sex should be one facet of your relationship, not the entire relationship.

Emotionally Safe Sex

It’s important to protect your heart when it comes to sex, not just your body. Know your heart and your feelings, know what you want, and know how to keep yourself safe when it comes to getting physically intimate with someone.

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