How to Change out of a People-Pleaser Mindset

Wanting to be a people pleaser is part of human nature. We often have a desire to satisfy the needs of others before we focus on our own wants or needs. Sometimes, we don’t even realize that we’re doing it. These tips will help you identify your people-pleasing behaviors and adjust them accordingly.

Get Comfortable Saying No

This is one of the most challenging steps for a people pleaser to master, but it’s one of the most important. When you’re too busy to take something on – or you simply don’t want to, don’t be afraid to say no. It’s not being selfish to take care of yourself and put your needs ahead of others.

Set Boundaries

To get out of a people-pleasing mindset, it’s important to set boundaries, whether it’s with co-workers, family members, friends, or significant others. When you fail to set boundaries, you may find other people take advantage of you or put you in uncomfortable positions. Once you set those boundaries, it becomes much easier to say no to someone if they ask you to step outside of them.

Set Goals

Regardless of how much you rely on people-pleasing behaviors, setting goals for yourself is a great way to start shifting your mindset. Begin by setting goals with how you want to spend your time. This will help you develop your priorities and know whether you have the time or energy to devote to someone else.

Pay Attention to Your Actions

Half the battle of trying to stop being a people pleaser is acknowledging when you’re acting like one. Paying attention to your behaviors takes practice. Do you find yourself more concerned with the way others perceive you than how you perceive yourself? Are you constantly taking a back seat with your opinions and agreeing with people? As you pay more attention to your actions, you can identify the people-pleasing behaviors you need to adjust.

Practice Self-Care

Many people fall into the trap of wanting to please others before themselves. To get out of this cycle, try practicing self-care, however that looks for you. Whether you spend more time meditating, reading, or getting pampered, you’re more likely to care about the way others treat you – and how you treat yourself.

Are you a people pleaser? Are you looking to change your mindset? Share your experiences with us in the comments below.

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