Emotional self-awareness is key in your hunt for love. Getting in touch with yourself can open the door to letting love—not just self-love but another person’s love—into your life. It’s important to learn how to bring joy into your life instead of relying solely on a partner for happiness. Self-discovery can reveal who you would be as a partner and help you envision the person who would complement you. It’s the cornerstone in the foundation of a healthy and lasting relationship.
Be gentle with yourself when diving into self-examination. You are a unique and worthy individual, and there’s no need to punish yourself if your relationship desires don’t match what you think society demands. Many of us grow up with cultural expectations that we have abandoned, and that’s perfectly okay. Don’t hold yourself to expectations that no longer fit your life. Find your true self and you’ll be ahead on finding the right partner for you.
One way to discover yourself is to keep a journal so that you can express your feelings and thoughts. Keeping a record can help you see how you are evolving. The partner who was a great match for you in your teens may no longer be an ideal match for you in your 20s.
Checking in with yourself can help you get ready to fall in love. Here are two questions to ask.
What kind of partner do you want be?
When you see yourself in a relationship, you probably think about the qualities you want in a partner. Expand your vision and think about the kind of partner you would be. You’ll get a better picture of the relationship you want and the type of partner you want for that relationship. If you have absolutely no interest in becoming a domestic diva, don’t look for a partner who wants a kitchen goddess. If you want a large family, look for someone who will welcome children. Getting in touch with who you are will help you find someone who wants what you bring to the table.
Do you need someone to make you whole?
Tom Cruise had a lot to answer for ever since the movie “Jerry Maguire” stuck a generation of hopeful romantics with the “you complete me” notion. Expecting another person to fill all the voids in your life and solve all your issues just isn’t realistic. Marriage counselors say the search for joy should start by first figuring out the things that bring you happiness. Think about the things you do to cultivate love for yourself.
Discovering joy in things you do on your own releases you from depending solely on a partner for happiness. Relying on a partner to make you happy can destroy a relationship, and the idea of looking for someone to make you whole means you are starting the relationship with unattainable expectations. If the relationship doesn’t work out, the emotional toll will be higher than normal. Remember that you’re a whole person with or without this person. Your own emotional awareness is an important foundation for a relationship.