Emerge from a Breakup Ready to Welcome New Romance

The way you move on from a relationship has a lot to do with how you handle your next romance. There’s no denying that breakups are tough and it’s hard to let go of that pain. Start by recognizing that crying is not just okay but positively cathartic and the first step toward healthy healing. Give yourself permission to mourn for a certain period, and then move forward with hope. Take note of what this relationship taught you and apply the lessons when you fall in love again. You’ll come out of this relationship ready to welcome new people and experiences with open arms.

Realize it’s Okay to Cry.

Let it all out. Don’t bottle up emotions that could come back and bite you in future relationships. A breakup is a moment of loss and grief—and probably some well deserved anger. You put a lot of time and energy into that relationship and it feels very unfair for that to be wasted. These are perfectly natural emotions that deserve expression. They’re real, they’re yours, and they’re valid. Take a day—heck, make that a week—to sit on the couch and listen to breakup music and sob. Then get up and get it together. One day soon, you’ll remember why ending this relationship was for the best. Remember, too, that today’s sadness is a temporary part of the healing process. You’ll have tough moments, but don’t let them drag you down.

Take Care of Yourself.

You’ll feel better if you focus on self-care that brings balance to your life. Shift the impulse to put all your energy into your work and take time for exercise. Get out and go for walks in the fresh air and sunshine. Plan meals for good nutrition, go easy on the alcohol and get some sleep. Spend time on the things that bring you joy—whether it’s talking to your girlfriends on Zoom, redecorating the bedroom, or even pulling weeds. Rely on your support network of friends, family, or therapist. Connecting with those who can help you heal in a healthy way is crucial in challenging times.

Get out of Denial and Move into Change.

Looking forward to the future should be your focus right now, and that can be hard. Stop thinking up ways to run into them accidentally and stop calling and texting. Even if you are the one who initiated the breakup, you’ll probably look back with longing at the time when you were totally, blissfully in love. Trying to relive the glory days of your relationship is unproductive. Keep reminding yourself there was a reason for the breakup.

Write it Down.

Relationships can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and what we want in life. Take a moment to reflect while your observations are fresh. You may have made mistakes, but you have an opportunity to learn from them. You have the chance to forgive your ex’s mistakes. Write down what you have learned in this relationship. Put the note someplace safe so that you can remember these lessons. It’s a valuable step that will help you move on from the relationship you’ve just ended.

Have Faith in the Future.

Embrace optimism and know that better days are ahead of you. Hold onto optimism that new experiences will exceed your expectations. Be grateful for the lessons you’ve learned from this relationship. You will appreciate the people you love even more for having had this life experience. It will get better, so hold on to hope.

2 Comments
  1. Thank you very helpful! My husband left me about 3 years ago after being married for 30 years and raising 6 kids 2of them his 2 of them mine 2 we had together but raised them all. Well he threw me out of our house and moved a girl in that is younger than some of our kids! I was very depressed for quite some time. A long time still have moments!! I haven’t dated or even thought about being with someone else can’t bring myself to. But enjoy reading different things related to my situation. Thank you

  2. Hi Kim, we are so sorry to hear about your situation. We are glad this article could help out, even if it’s just to help get your thoughts organized! You are strong – you got this! – RethinkBeautiful

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