Fighting with your significant other is never fun, yet almost everyone does it. Is arguing worth it, especially with the person we love the most? That’s a question we’re not really prepared to answer just yet. However, we are ready to answer this question: What do couples fight about? According to relationship experts, these are the top five things almost every couple fights about.
Sex & Intimacy
Disagreements about your sex life will come and go throughout the years. Some couples fight about the frequency or initiation of sex, while others complain there’s a lack of foreplay or sexual acts. In any case, it’s usually because one or both partners’ needs are unmet. Although this can be a difficult subject to discuss, the best way to resolve any fight about sex is to be honest about your wants and needs. If you find this challenging, you may want to consider couples therapy to return to a healthy sex life.
Household Chores
Balancing household chores will set you on the path to success. It’s when the scales start to tip that arguments arise. There’s no reason why one person should always be in charge of doing the dishes, vacuuming, and folding the laundry. So, if one partner feels they’re doing more around the house than the other, they should be open and honest. If no resolution comes through communication, it may be time to start a chore chart. Accountability is key.
Money
In the beginning, relationships tend to be all butterflies and rainbows. But as a relationship progresses, you’ll learn what kind of finances you’re working with. Bills and debt come up in conversation, spending styles are revealed, and sometimes, accounts eventually merge into one. This can be tricky to manage, especially if one partner is a spender and the other is a saver.
If money problems arise, an effective way to tackle them is to communicate what is important to each of you. Do you really need to go out to dinner three times a week? Is that fashion subscription worth $100 a month? Can you focus on buying grocery items on sale? Discuss your non-negotiables, leave room for cushion spending, and always prioritize what matters.
Boundaries
When you’re in a relationship, you’re not solo anymore. You have to learn to depend on your partner for certain things. But that also means you must create boundaries with the other people in your life.
For example, it may no longer be “okay” for your friends to stop by after leaving the bar for a nightcap. The best way to avoid this fight is to establish healthy boundaries before it becomes a point of contention.
Children
Fights about whether you want to have children – and how many you want to have – are common with couples. And if you do have kids, the fights tend to pile up from there. What type of parents do you want to be? Will one of you stay home? How will you dress them? What do you feed them? How will you discipline them? These can be difficult conversations, but they are necessary. It’s best to get talking sooner rather than later and always make decisions together.