Want to feel better after a breakup? Concentrate on finding positive things to think about that have nothing to do with your ex. Don’t spend time dwelling on the past partner’s bad qualities, since that may make you feel worse. This advice is coming from researchers who studied 24 people who had broken up and said they still loved their former partners. Study participants ranged in age from 20 to 37.
Some were asked to distract themselves by thinking positively about things that did not involve their ex. Others were directed to accept their feelings with statements such as: ‘It’s okay to love someone I’m no longer with.’ Another group was asked to think negatively about their ex, while a fourth control group was asked not to change their thinking habits.
Researchers then gauged the intensity of participants’ emotions by recording their brain activity when shown photos of their former partners. Participants also answered a questionnaire about their feelings.
Distraction did make people happier but it did not completely kill their feelings for their ex, the study revealed. Results also suggested that accepting your emotions has no effect on people’s happiness or feelings towards their ex. If you want to get over them quicker, you need to break off contact and focus on yourself. Take up painting, surfing, or go to some comedy clubs. Distract yourself with things that are going to better yourself, or are just plain fun!