We’re going to ask you a few questions, and we want you to decide which part applies to you – and which applies to your partner. Do you have a pile of books by your nightstand, or do you keep your side perfectly tidy? Can you leave the dishes to “soak” overnight, or are the dishes washed, dried, and put away before bed? Do you pick up your towels after your bath or shower, or can those wait?
We’re pretty sure you see where we’re heading with this, so we’ll cut to the chase with one final question: Are you tidy and your partner a slob? This can be very difficult for couples, but we promise you can reach compromises without losing your mind! Here are some tips!
Try to See Things From Their Point of View
We know that this can be tricky at the moment when you find the mound of wet towels in the corner of the bathroom yet again, but take a beat and consider if your partner’s busy work or school schedule causes them to rush all the time. They may not even realize there is anything “wrong” with this behavior. Practicing empathy will help you understand your partners while promoting the idea that there is a “right” or “wrong” in every situation.
Communicate and Form a Plan
At this point, it may be helpful to list the things that bother you and come up with some solutions. Your partner may not even realize that their messy habits make you want to pull your hair out! It’s important not to come at them accusingly but instead in a way that says, “This is a problem we can tackle and fix together.” Work to reframe each scenario and calmly negotiate a solution.
Set Alarms (If You Need To)
If you think you need to create reminders to ensure that both parties are sticking to their side of the bargain, set daily or weekly phone alerts that tell you both it’s time to tidy up a particular area.
Sing Your Praises
Okay, not literally. But make a big deal out of the house being neat and clean and the fact that this was a problem you worked out and solved together. Positive reinforcement can create new behavior patterns. If your partner knows how much you appreciate them and their acts of service, those acts will become habits.
Consider a Housekeeper
Maybe talking about things didn’t go over well – or perhaps you’ve tried committing to a new routine, but it isn’t working. If you’ve got the money, you may want to consider hiring a housekeeper or cleaning service. This way, you won’t feel like you are constantly picking up after your partner or are the only one taking on household responsibilities.
Sources: Today, Huffington Post