Compatibility is key. If you’re incompatible with your significant other, the short-term relationship may never blossom into a long-term one. If you need help deciphering the compatibility level, this is the post to read. Ask yourself the following questions. If you get positive answers, your compatibility will look promising.
Do You Share Similar Values?
Think about your values in terms of family, religion, politics, and ethics. Do you want kids? Are you religious? What are your politics? Do you find honesty and integrity important in your relationships? Questions like this will come up when referencing fundamental values. However, other values go beyond the basics, like work, lifestyle, finances, and social life. Ask yourself:
- Do you have similar or conflicting work schedules, and is this a problem?
- Do you like to cook and eat at home?
- Do you prefer to save, or would you rather spend your money on experiences and material items?
- Do you have a lot of the same friends? How do you like to socialize?
If you and your partner have a similar attitude toward these values, there should be less stress and conflict.
Can You Be Open With Your Partner and Vice Versa?
Secrets lead to mistrust and shady behavior, but being open with your partner gives the relationship the respect it deserves. If you are fully compatible, you should be able to say just about anything to your partner (even uneasy or uncomfortable stuff). You should be able to share health issues, past relationship breakups, current friendships, work-related information, extracurricular activities, etc.
Does the Relationship Feel Balanced?
One side of the equation should not be heavier than its opposing side. Your needs and wants are just as important as theirs. Ask yourself questions like:
- Do you both carry emotions in the relationship? Do you show your partner that they’re wanted? Do you initiate romance? Are you being vulnerable?
- Do you both reach out to have conversations?
- Do both of you equally initiate flirting, touching, sex, etc?
- Do you feel like you are equals?
- Do they prioritize your needs and wants? Do they respect you?
Do You Grant One Another the Freedom to Be Yourselves?
The willingness to let you do you is very important in relationships. Not requesting change and accepting your partner for who they are means the world.
What does that look like? Well, you may love to read, watch rom-coms, take long walks after work, and prefer to eat healthy. Your partner may love contact sports, listening to podcasts, and eating fast food. Allowing the differences to stay without requesting change grants freedom to be yourselves.
Do You Wish to Grow Together?
We’re talking about moral, financial, and emotional growth. Do you talk about your future? If so, questions may pop up, like:
- What gives life meaning? What’s important to you?
- What do you want to do with your life? Who do you want to become?
- Where do you want to be in five years?
- Do you place judgment on people?
- Can people change?
Financial questions may arise, too. If one is a saver and the other is a spender, how would you grow and find common ground? Growth is all about compromise. Any two people can do it if they set their minds to it.