Looking for a relationship can be tricky. You want to be “out there” and available so you can meet the right person, but if you look desperate then you know you’re totally doomed. So how do you walk the line between being open to love and being hungry for love?
Keep Your Personal Life Goals at The Forefront
The first key to being open for love but not desperate for love is to focus on your own personal goals. In addition to work, downtime and the time you spend on hobbies and exercise, include social events into your weekly calendar. Join a sports team or a local club, make dates with friends, just get out there and be sociable. It’s okay to want a relationship. But if you find a way to live your life fulfilled on your own, you may just attract that soulmate you’ve been looking for.
Confidence, Not Over-Confidence
Being confident can be tricky, too. It’s important that you know what you’re worth so you can find the right partner, someone who is going to value you and treat you the way that you deserve. Remind yourself that you are a catch, you are beautiful, unique and have lots of amazing qualities. Jot them down on paper if you are feeling unmotivated. Be confident that you’re great because you are, but don’t be overly confident. Don’t convince yourself that you’re just too good for everyone you meet.
Sometimes, Play Hard to Get
If you meet someone that you really like, and they tell you a little about their past dating life, listen in. You can use this information to judge whether you should be playing the hard to get game. If they sound like they have commitment issues, you won’t want to go overboard with your emotions for them quite yet. If they sound like they fall in love with everyone they meet, take that as a clue to be able to let them know how you’re feeling after a few dates. Either way, be careful. If you get too emotionally attached or physical too quickly, you may come across as desperate and you may hurt your chances of having a serious relationship. It’s an old adage, but a good one: don’t have sex on the first date. Do this, and play the rest by ear, so to speak.
Be True To Yourself
Finding someone to be with can be very difficult. It’s even more difficult to find someone that you can connect with mentally, physically and emotionally; someone who checks your boxes and has attributes you admire. So when you do find someone who matches up with a lot of your needs and desires, you may be tempted to let them slide on other behaviors that might otherwise be intolerable. Keep your sanity and your expectations intact, and always follow your heart. Communication is key, so tell them if you’re having a problem with something, and also keep yourself open for change if they come to you about something. If you ever feel like your significant other is still doing things that you would not normally tolerate, you should step back and re-assess your relationship. Love is love, but happiness and well being is important for you.