The negative: Conflict is inevitable. Every relationship (romantic, work-related, school-related) will experience it eventually.
The positive: You can learn how to navigate the arguments, settling on a conflict resolution that’s beneficial to both people involved.
How do you do that? Check out our favorite tips below to limit stress, decrease chance of resentment, and minimize additional unresolved conflict odds.
Practice Active Listening
There are two sides to every conflict, which means that each side has to put in active effort to finalize a beneficial solution. Listening is a big part of conflict resolution.
Next time you’re in an argument, really sit back and let the opposing side express themselves. See their perspective (not just yours!). Take all the facts into account and make sure the other person really feels heard and understood. Throw in any last minute details you think should be considered. And you’ll start to see common ground.
Try Compromising
This conflict resolution tip may come off as a lose-lose strategy – because both parties involved have to give up something they want – but it’s also the easiest way to reach an agreement.
Lay out all the details and see what can be ‘thrown away.’ If you don’t want to compromise for a permanent solution, you can use this method as a temporary solution to avoid conflict right now.
Take Some Time to Cool Off
Conflict can easily escalate, sometimes provoking harsh interactions. People can’t always control what they say and do in the heat of the moment. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, it may be wise to put some distance between you and the other party involved.
Step away from the problem at hand and collect your thoughts and emotions. Once stable enough, revisit the issue or decide on a better time to address the conflict. A few hours or days may do good.
Try Not to Place Blame
If someone feels blamed for a particular argument or action inside of an argument, they may start to get defensive, upset, or emotional. All of these feelings do not point towards conflict resolution.
Instead of saying “you did this,” “you said this,” and similar “you” statements, put the focus on “I” statements. “I feel,” “I see,” “I want,” etc. Such phrases will share the personal perspective more effectively without attacking the opposing side.
Acknowledge Criticism
Difficult topics will be addressed in the midst of an argument, including job or relationship behaviors you may need to work on. Acknowledging this constructive feedback may be hard, but it can be helpful.
Our tip would be to keep an open mind. Remember, there’s a difference between an “attack” and accepting constructive criticism, so do your best to decipher between the two for the sake of a positive outcome. If there’s an area of your job performance or romantic relationship that needs improving, you can always grow and be better next time. The same goes for the opposing side of the argument.