Tucked away in the corner of your mind there’s a list of your perfect man’s qualities. Are children on the list? Many women don’t have an opinion about dating a man with children until one day they meet the perfect soul mate and almost immediately discover he is a proud father. If you have qualms about making the romance work, you’ll want to consider what children will bring to the relationship. Here are seven things you should know when you’re thinking about dating a man with kids:
- Hold off on the introductions.
When you’re just getting to know each other and you’re not certain the relationship will last, rushing to meet his kids can be a little overwhelming for everybody. The children will be better off if you delay introductions until it’s clear the relationship with their father will last.
- Let your relationship with his children evolve naturally.
Don’t forget that you are the adult and they are children who have wants and needs. Insecurities and jealousies can produce tensions and tempers and hurt feelings. Misunderstandings can lead to arguments. Exercise patience and keep your cool. Handling awkward moments with maturity will help your relationship with his kids grow naturally, so don’t force it. Give them time and space to get to know you.
- Reassure them you’re not trying to replace their mother.
It’s natural his kids may worry that liking you is a betrayal of loyalty to their mother. Let them know that you’re an addition to their lives and you are not trying to replace their mom. Again, take things slowly and let your relationship evolve without forcing it.
- Expect the unexpected.
His kids may not like you at first. You’re a stranger and they may be wary of you. They may be afraid you’re going to take their dad away from them. Your efforts to reach out may be met with rejection at first, but you should take the initiative and keep trying. The day will come when they unexpectedly confide in you.
- Learn to go with the flow.
Accept that emergencies will arise and learn to be flexible about changing schedules. There aren’t just two people in your relationship with your boyfriend, there’s are at least one child and their mother, and everybody is coping with blending the demands of school and work and activities. You’ll need to adjust and compromise when you’re dating a man with kids.
- Share the love.
You’ll make mistakes. He will make mistakes. The children will make mistakes. Everybody is human, and everybody will make mistakes. In the end, the important thing is that the children won’t remember the mistakes. They’ll remember how you make the feel. They’ll remember the love you shared. Expanding your love to encircle his children can only make the love grow.
- How sexy is he when he’s parenting?
You’ll learn a lot about your man when you watch him with his kids. Seeing him interact as a father, protector and mentor can be a real turn-on.